402 Apricot Street
Hoffman Estates
Roselle. Illinois
January 26. 1962
Chairman of the Board
General Mills, Inc.
623 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis 2, Minnesota
Dear Sir:
A few weeks ago, in good faith but with great ignorance, I responded to a General Mills offer involving the purchase of a package each of Betty Crocker Toffee Swirl Cake Mix and Betty Crocker Toffee Fudge Frosting Mix. The only obligation on my part was that I send to you the box tops from each of the packages, in return for which I would receive a bonus entitling me to another package of cake mix, worth the not inconsiderable amount of 39¢. It was a most fair and reasonable offer, and involved on my part only the purchase of the cake and frosting mix, a pair of scissors or a knife, a stamped envelop and only a reasonable amount of brains. The scissors and envelop were available; the brains were not!
I have now been advised by General Mills, in a somewhat curt, condescending and disdainful note, that the offer could not be fulfilled until I had met certain requirements, i.e., submit one box top each for the G.M.B.C.T.S.C.M.* and the G.M.B.C.T.F.F.M.** Now it seems that in my sheer stupidity I had submitted not the box tops, but – horrors! – the box bottoms of these packages!
Although each was clearly labeled "Betty Crocker Toffee Swirl Cake Mix” and “Betty Crocker Toffee Fudge Frosting Mix”, the First-Vice-President-in-Charge-of-Box-Tops was not to be deceived by a conniving, scheming, larcenous housewife who was trying to perpetrate a 39¢ fraud on General Mills. No gullible fool, this man, ever alert to the public's natural inclination toward chicanery, deception, evil stratagems and other sharp practices to bilk General Mills out of 39¢, proved his mettle. When he said box top, he meant box top. He knew too that an unfeeling female might compound the felony by collecting one bonus on the box bottoms and another on the box tops. This General Mills could not risk. G.M.F.V.P.I.C.O.B.T.*** is a shrewd, sharp, discerning, dedicated servant of General Mills, and I commend him to the Board of Directors for his devotion to duty, his 110% honesty, his alertness, and his singleness of purpose – to protect General Mills from the likes of me.
I commend him too for thinking that I had brains almost equal to his – to devise such a plot. In this, however, he erred, for my blunder in sending the bottoms instead of the tops was the result of P.O.A.H.S.S.A.C.**** rather than A.S.P.T.B.G.M.O.O.39¢*****.
As a result, I am a dejected, depressed, completely broken housewife, incapable of performing as simple a task as sending in box tops. Since this latest failure, I receive sympathy, but not genuine respect, from my husband and children. Furthermore, I can never again serve G.M.B.C.T.S.C.M.* and G.M.B.C.T.F.F.M** to my family. Time may heal the wound, but any future purchases of General Mills products would reopen it.
I am sending the box bottoms back to you to remove these symbols of my stupidity from my house. Only in this way can I try to regain the respect of my family, and my own self respect. I can now serve only Duncan Hines cakes in our household.
Very truly yours,
Adeline Olson
P.S. If it develops that General Mills also owns Duncan Hines, I shall destroy myself.
* General Mills Betty Crocker Toffee Swirl Cake Mix
** General Mills Betty Crocker Toffee Fudge Frosting Mix
*** General-Mills-First-Vice-President-in-Charge-of-Box-Tops
**** Plain Old American Housewife Sheer Stupidity and Carelessness
***** A Sneaky Plot to Bilk General Mills Out of 39¢
General Mills, Inc. 400 Second Avenue Minneapolis 1, Minnesota
Adeline Olson 402 Apricot St. Hoffman Estates Roselle, Ill.
Dear Mrs. Olson:
We are very sorry that you were offended by our returning your Cake Mix box bottoms to you. It certainly was not our intention.
When we first began offering refunds in connection with our various products, we accepted any portion of the box that our customer sent. We felt that although we had requested “box tops”, our customer probably did not carefully read the advertisement and sent any part as her proof of purchase.
We soon found that we had to discontinue accepting any portion of the box and had to insist on the proper requirements. Many people were taking advantage of this situation and were sending in many parts from the same package for refunds. Thousands of refund requests are received in our office each day and it is not possible for us to keep records on each request we receive.
Therefore, although we know that many of the requests we return are honest errors, we were forced to take this stand, and to insist on the exact requirements of the offer.
If a customer writes back that she no longer has the box top or some other reason why she did not send it, we then will make an exception and send her refund without it. Therefore, we are sending you your Free Cake Mix coupon and are enclosing 8¢ in stamps to reimburse you ofr the postage you used in writing us.
Your patronage is appreciated and we look forward to serving you many times in the future.
Sincerely yours,
Jane Gordon JG:e |
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